jokes

!!!!WELCOME TO THE JOKES!!!! WHATS GREEN, FUZZY AND IF IT FELL OUT OF A TREE, WOULD KILL YOU? A POOL TABLE!

story joke. TOO KIDS (jonny and john) ARE AT THE ZOO. JONNY SAYS LETS GO TO THE PRIMATE SECTION,  OK SAYS JOHN, SO THAY GO TO THE PRIMATE SECTION AND JOHN SAYS I BET I CAN MAKE THE GORRILA IMATATE ME,  FAT CHANCE, SAYS JONNY. SO JOHN HOLDS HIS THUMS TO EACH OF HIS EARS AND WIGGLES HIS FINGERS, THE GORRILA DOES THE SAME THING BACK, IT WORKED SHOUTED JOHN, SO JOHN POKED HIS TOUNG OUT ,THE GORILLA WENT CRAZY , IT BROKE OUT OF HIS CAGE, GRABED JOHN AND BASHED HIS HEAD AGAINST THE CAGE AND THEN PEACEFULLY AND QUITLY HOPPED BACK INTO HIS CAGE, AND SAT DOWN. WHILE JOHN WAS IN HOSPITAL, JONNY WENT TO ASK WHY THE GORRILA DID WHAT HE DID? THE ZOO KEEPER REPLYED IN GORRILA LANGUGE, POKING YOUR TOUNG OUT IS LIKE DOING THE FINGERS JONNY THEN WENY BACK TO TELL JOHN IN HOPITAL WHY THE GORRILA DID IT. JOHN DIDNT CARE, HE WANTED REVENGE. AS SOON AS HE GOT REALESED HE WENT BACK HOME, TOOK HIS LITTLE BROTHERS SOFT TOY HAMMER, AND GOT A REAL HAMMER. HE THEN WENT TO THE ZOO WERE HE CHUCKED THE REAL HAMMER INTO THE CAGE AND KEEPED THE SOFT ONE. HE HELD HIS THUMS TO EACH OF HIS EARS AND WIGGLED HIS FINGERS, THE GORRILA DID THE SAME THING BACK, HE THEN RASED THE TOY HAMMER OVER HIS HEAD AND BROUGHT IT DOWN AND HIT HIS HEAD THE GORRILA DOES THE SAME THING ,EXEPT BEFORE HE HITS HIS HEAD HE STOPS ,AND POKES HIS TONGUE OUT!

Q.WHY DO DUCKS HAVE WEBBED FEET? A.TO STOMP OUT FIRES. Q.WHY DO ELEPHANTS HAVE FLAT FEET? A.TO STOMP OUT BURNING DUCKS!

Q.WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SNOT AND CAULIFLOWER? A.KIDS WILL EAT SNOT!

Q.WHAT DID THE FISH SAY WHAN IT HIT THE CANCRETE WALL? A.DAM!

Q. whats red and looks like a bucket? A. a red bucket! Q. whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a red bucket in disguise!

HOW DO YOU GET A ELEPHANT IN TO A CAR YOU OPEN THE DOOR LOL!!!

Q. whats brown and sticky? A. a stick

WHATS GREEN AND HAS WEELS? GRASS,I LYED ABOUT THE WEELS!

WHY DID THE MONKEY FALL OUT OF THE TREE? BECAUSE IT WAS DEAD!! (i know this joke is stupid but its still funny)

MOTHER. timmy,what did your father say whan you threw the baseball through the window? TIMMY.do you want me to leave out the bad words? MOTHER. yes please. TIMMY.well if we leave out the bad words i guess he said nothing!

TOM. mum why are we pushing our car of the cliff? MUM. shosh ,or you will wake your father! ( this joke is really sad but funny in a sick way)

SON. dad please dont make me go to camp with my sister, i'll give you 20 bucks if you keep her at home! DAD. why timmy, she's your only sister! think of all the years you've spent with her. SON. your right, i'll give you 40 bucks, but i'm not going any higher!

(THIS IS MY FRIEND ETHANS JOKE). THERE WAS AN ALIEN AND ALL HE COULD SAY WAS MEMEMEMEMEMEME SO HE WENT PASSED THE BUTCHERS & HERD THE BUTCHER SAY KNIFE AND FORKS X 3 SO HE LEARNT THAT AND THEN HE WENT PASSED A CHURCH AND HERD THEM SING HALLELOYA X 3 AND THERE WAS A MURDER DOWNTOWN SO HE CHECKED IT OUT. THE POLICE MAN SAID WHO KILLED THIS PERSON THE ALIEN SAID MEMEMEMEMEME WITH WHAT THE POLICE MAN SAID NIFES AND FORKS X 3 THEN THE POLICE MAN SAID YOUR GOING TO JAIL FOR A LONG TIME & THE ALIEN SAID HALLELOYA X 3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA L..O.L

KNOCK KNOCK WHOS THERE AN INTERUPTING SHEEP AN INTERUPTING SHEEP WHO? (WHILE SHE SAYS AN INTERUPTING SHEEP WHO YOU INTERUPT HER/HIM)